21 days trial

Day 9

I can feel a little bit of the focus slipping away at this point. I was running late for work today (or so I thought!) and thought to myself, “Well, I’ll just grab something on the way.” I literally stopped dead in my tracks in the kitchen. Nope, I don’t do that anymore. So, I backtracked and made a smoothie- berries, yogurt, and spinach. I decided to leave the kale out of it since it doesn’t blend well. Pretty yummy!

Once I got to work I realized that I was actually over 30 minutes early. Oops. We had a huge fundraising campaign going and I think I was just excited about it. Since I couldn’t sit still, I decided to grab coffee with a coworker. That was a big mistake! Several hours later and I am still bouncing off the walls…and I feel sick 😦 I also had that dreaded moment. My coworker bought a pastry while we were getting coffee. This is the same coworker that I had previously told about my 21 day eating plan. She offered me a bite and when I said no, she responded with “Oh yeah, you’re on a diet.” I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it, but I just have such a negative response to comments like that. Just a holdover from childhood I guess. Being the only chunky kid while both my sisters were petite will do that to you. As a result, I’ve developed a hypersensitivity to anyone mentioning what I eat.

I can also tell that my enthusiasm has waned a bit since I didn’t really have a meal prepared for lunch today. I still have some of the roast left, but no veggies to go with it. I decided to just have the roast with some marinara on it. Not the best, but in a pinch it worked. I’ll have to come up with a veggie dish that I can make and pack for lunch the rest of the week. I also threw in some pork skins as a snack (which I ate around 10 am).

Today at work I decided to finally do something that I’ve been meaning to for quite some time. Now that I have all of this extra energy from eating real food I really hate sitting down. I have too much energy and I spend most of the day bouncing around in my chair. And I know this is ridiculous but sometimes I feel like I can feel my ass getting bigger the longer I sit. So, today I finally decided to make my own standing desk. We don’t have the budget to buy new desks so I had to improvise. Basically I just stacked everything on boxes at various heights. I did it at the end of the day, so I didn’t have a lot of time to figure out if it will work long term. We shall see tomorrow. I’m lucky in that I have a dual monitor set up so I can bounce back and forth between sitting and standing if I want to.
I’m really excited about this change. I was a bit nervous to try it before because everyone in my office is basically go with the flow and no one really tries anything different. Sometimes I feel like an odd duck there. But I’ve also spent most of my life doing what everyone else was doing or what I thought they wanted me to do so it feels good to march to my own drummer.

I was feeling so pumped when I left work that I decided to walk home.

I was contemplating what to have for dinner and came up with the idea for a leek and mushroom omelet with sweet potato fries. When I opened the fridge to get out the fixins for eggs I remembered that I still had leftover eggplant “pizza.” I’m trying really hard not to waste food and save money, so I had that along with the sweet potato fries.

I was still feeling pretty amped after dinner so I knocked out some squats and some push ups. I’m feeling really strong and energized.

My zest for this 21 day clean eating campaign was renewed today. I spoke to my mom briefly on the phone. She has always struggled with her weight as far as I know. Outwardly she never really seemed to want to do anything about it until recently. She started Weight Watchers last year before my older sister’s wedding. I too made a promise to myself that I would slim down before the big day. It was going to be a classy affair and I didn’t want to muck it up with my chunk. Well, mom did manage to lose a few lbs. She looked great! I, on the other hand, did not. My flabby arms are in hundreds of pictures. It was still incredibly fun but everytime I look at those pictures, I can’t help but wish I would have taken action sooner. Little sister is getting married this year- in just a few months. I don’t want the same mistake to happen twice. Mom is back on Weight Watchers. Today she told me that she is down 3 lbs. I’m couldn’t be more happy for her. The moment that gave me pause was when she told me to try it because it was, in her words “so easy.” Hmmm…if it was so easy then why does she keep “falling off the wagon”?

I tried Weight Watchers back in the day. Twice actually. I didn’t find it easy. I found it mind numbingly tedious to track all of those points, to weight and measure everything. I did not find it easy to feel hungry all of the time. And I definitely did not find it easy to see my weight not change week after week. This is where my stubborn side kicks in. I want to prove that my way is the best way for me. I didn’t tell my mom about it because I didn’t think she would understand. No, I prefer to let my results speak for themselves…you know, when I get results.

And that’s where the zest comes back in. I can’t argue that my way is better for me if I don’t actually practice what I think “my way” is. It’s fine to be stubborn as long as you can back it up with action and results. And so far I haven’t done that. Mostly because I’ve usually given up at the slightest sign of success. Drop a few pounds? Have a pint of ice cream! It’s the weekend? Why not have chili fries?

But you know what? In order for change to happen, I actually have to do something different. I can’t just expect to wake up one morning and POOF I’m healthier, thinner! No, I have to do the work. This means making the healthier choices everyday.

I’m excited again. BRING IT ON!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s