My night of indulgent lounging last night served me well. I’m feeling refreshed and in a good mood this morning.
As I was walking into the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror (granted, just my top half since it’s a small mirror above the sink). I noticed something: I have a pretty great body shape. Underneath a bit (ok, a lot) of fat is a hot little body waiting for me. My waist is smallish, my hips are curvy, nice solid shoulders, strong legs. I’m really looking forward to seeing the changes in my shape as the layers melt away. Now, I’m not going for the waifish supermodel look. I want a toned, strong, athletic look. And even though I’m tracking my weight for now, I have no idea number that I’m shooting for. In fact, I’ll probably stop tracking once I get down to a healthy range (somewhere between 130 and 150?). I’ve never been at a healthy weight in my adult life, so I have no idea where my body wants to be.
I’ve also never understood those people who focus on losing the last 5 pounds. I’ve read enough weight loss forums to hear hundreds of stories from people (mostly women) who are struggling with the last 5 lbs. They’ll often get really strict with counting calories or cutting down to 0 cards or some crazy thing all to just get some magic number on the scale. So if they hit it, then what? My feeling is that if you have to get that strict to get there it only makes sense that you would have to stay that strict to maintain. Plus a person’s weight can fluctuate by more than 5 lbs on any given day depending on what you’ve eaten, how much water is in your body, the last time you went to the bathroom.
No, I don’t think I’ll go that route. I don’t feel like there is some perfect number that I need to be. That’s what I love about this primal eating lifestyle- I feel like I can maintain it indefinitely with relative ease. Sure. I’ve had a few moments in the last week and a half where I really just wanted some chocolate ice cream. And some day, I’m ok with working that stuff back in as an occasional treat. For the moment, I feel it best to cut it out entirely until I can figure out a healthier way to deal with emotions, stress, and boredom.
I finished all of my frozen strawberries and yogurt yesterday, so a quick smoothie was out. I also didn’t really feel like making eggs and didn’t have anything quick to grab. I decided to just skip it and have an early lunch.
I decided to walk to work today since it finally wasn’t raining and I was feeling pretty pumped about life! The walk was great (about 2 miles) until I realized I dropped my bus pass somewhere along the way. I was mere blocks from my office. I back tracked about halfway home but never found it. On the plus side I did get to walk extra.
Today at work was day 2 of the makeshift standing desk. It’s not bad. I’m still trying to get used to it. I need to find the perfect mix of standing and sitting.
I surprisingly was able to make it to noon without being hungry. Since it was Friday I decided to treat myself to a meal out. Chipotle! I love their corporate philosophy, and of all the fast food places they are the best option. I opted for the salad with no beans or rice, extra fajita veggies, barbacoa, pico de gallo, cheese and guac. Yum! And very filling.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. We were able to leave early but I had happy hour plans after work so I had to kill time for about an hour. I decided to tempt fate and try on jeans. Yikes! This is normally a pretty awful experience. I tried on a pair in a size 16- one size up from what I’m currently wearing. They fit!! A bit tight but wearable. That was a great feeling 🙂
My friend and former roommate invited me over to eat dinner and watch a movie tonight. We lived together for almost 3 years and have shared a lot of meals together. She’s heard about my weight struggles and has been with me through various diet attempts. Her original text invited me for “pasta and a movie.” I was proud of myself when I responded with “definitely in for a movie. I’ll skip the pasta :)” Like I said before, it’s hard for me to open up about my food choices like that. I just have a hard time with people thinking “oh there goes Amy again on some silly diet.” Plus this particular friend, like most of my friends, is thin and athletic.
When I got there, we headed to the grocery store. She already had pesto so I opted to get a sweet potato and we split a big salad. It was the perfect meal. Overall it was a pleasant evening with good food and a good friend.
Although I am very satisfied with my progress, I am noticing a bit of impatience creeping in. I know that what I’m doing is what’s best for my body and I’m going down the right path, but I’m ready to look the part now! Which I realize isn’t the ultimate point. The great thing about keeping this journal is that it’s allowed me to stay focused on the journey and not just the destination.
I’m about halfway through the 21 day experiment and I’m feeling great!